In the morning, I head to work, and Mom’s made pancakes or waffles. I feel like a student, not a teacher. It’s great having loving parents.»
Sarah smiled, a hint of sadness in her voice and eyes. Emily didn’t pry. They weren’t close enough for that.
If Sarah wanted to share, she would. Emily wasn’t one to dig into someone’s soul. «I’m starving,» Sarah said as they got in the car after seeing the second apartment.
«I only had coffee and a cookie for breakfast. Can’t eat much in the morning. But by lunch, I’m ravenous.
There’s a nice café nearby. Good food, affordable. Join me?» «Sure.
I haven’t eaten lunch either.» Minutes later, Sarah parked near a small café. They sat and ordered.
The waiter said it’d take about twenty minutes. They decided to chat to pass the time. Sarah mentioned a distant cousin who recently divorced and was left with nothing.
«I don’t know how he managed it,» Sarah said, throwing up her hands. «No surprise, with his connections. But the apartment bought during marriage went to him, along with all their savings.
Now Kate lives with her parents in a two-bedroom, with her younger brother, his wife, and their kid. She sleeps on a cot in the kitchen. Awful! She asked me to find her a cheap room to rent.
She can’t afford more. What creeps some guys are! They divorced because he met another woman. Kicked Kate out like trash.»
«Terrible,» Emily agreed, then added, «I guess I’m lucky. I’m with my parents too, but in a spare room, and I have money to buy an apartment.
Our shared apartment sold for a great price. Right, joint property should be split evenly in a divorce.
My ex-husband James wanted to leave me the whole apartment. I thought guys like that didn’t exist. But his mom was dead against it.
I decided I didn’t want anything from him. Why’d you divorce, if it’s not a secret?» «No secret. Same reason as your cousin.
He cheated for almost a year. I found out by overhearing a phone call. We decided to split.
He didn’t ask for forgiveness or to save the marriage?» «No, and I wouldn’t have agreed. He called me a suitcase without a handle to his mistress, hard to carry, a shame to throw away.» «What a jerk,» Sarah shook her head. «Hearing stories like this makes me glad I’m not married. Don’t even want to.»
«Yeah. I’m starting to think I’d have been better off single than going through this,» Emily said, thinking of her unborn child. If not for James, she wouldn’t have made that devastating mistake that ruined her health and life.
She used to blame herself most, but now, after the divorce, she was angry at James too. She thought they’d live a long life together, even without kids, and be happy. Instead, she was alone, childless, while James had a young wife who’d give him a child, and he’d find happiness and fatherhood. Emily wasn’t vengeful, but lately, she often thought how unfair life could be. The waiter brought their food, and they started eating.
Suddenly, Emily heard familiar voices. Turning, she saw two women sitting at a nearby table—Susan, her former mother-in-law, and Angela, James’s younger sister. Emily turned away, hoping they wouldn’t recognize her from behind.
But it was too late. Susan was already standing by their table. «Hello, Emily,» she smiled broadly.
«Didn’t expect to see you here. Angela and I were shopping. A new mall opened nearby, and we stopped to eat.
You look great, Emily. Everything okay? Bought an apartment?» Emily wanted nothing less than to talk to her ex-mother-in-law and answer her questions.
But, being polite, she replied, «I’m doing great, Susan. Still looking for an apartment.»
«You’ll find one. As long as you have the money.
James bought a nice two-bedroom. Good thing you listened to me, and you sold the apartment, splitting the money.
Though James bought that apartment, he was always the breadwinner. Oh well, the law’s the law.
Thank you, dear. By the way, we have good news. Lila’s expecting.
James is thrilled. Oh, sorry, Emily, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s probably upsetting.»
How Emily, polite and composed, wanted to throw her soup at Susan or dump juice on her head. Why? Why did this family keep haunting her? Why did she have to be in this café and run into James’s mother and sister? Why did life keep throwing these people at her? Sarah, witnessing the exchange, quickly realized who Susan was to Emily and saw how uncomfortable her friend was.
«Ma’am, have I seen you somewhere?» Sarah said, diverting Susan’s attention. «Me? Where?» Susan was surprised.
«Your face isn’t familiar.» «No, it was definitely you. I have a great memory for faces.
Last week at the clinic, you were booking an appointment. With a psychiatrist. You were complaining loudly about suspecting you had a split personality and manic depression.» «What? How dare you?» Susan shouted, her face turning red. «I wasn’t at any clinic, let alone a psychiatrist.
What nonsense are you spouting?» «Now I’m sure it was you,» Sarah said calmly. «You were yelling the same way in the clinic.» Susan rushed to her daughter’s table.
«We’re leaving. There’s some lunatic here talking nonsense about me. Guess Emily’s friends are as crazy as she is, how James lived with her.»
As Susan and Angela, hastily grabbing their coats, left the café, Sarah and Emily burst out laughing. «You’re something,» Emily said. «I didn’t expect that.
I couldn’t just sit there watching your ex-mother-in-law say nasty things with that smug smile. I wanted to put her in her place so she wouldn’t try that again. Sorry if I went too far.»
«No, I’m grateful. I wouldn’t have dared say anything sharp. You really got her.
Honestly, I haven’t laughed like that in ages. And you’re not entirely wrong about the split personality.
Why’s that? Because as soon as Susan learned James and I were divorcing, she showed her true colors. All those years, she seemed so nice.
Either she was good at pretending, or she didn’t want to ruin things while I was her son’s wife. Ugh, I feel like I’ll never escape this family,» Emily sighed. «I just want to forget James, Lila, and my ex-mother-in-law exist.
It’s not a small town, yet we crossed paths.» «The world’s small, as they say, but I bet next time Susan will pretend she doesn’t know you.» «I hope so.»
They finished lunch, and Sarah drove Emily home before heading to other client meetings. Emily spent the rest of the day smiling, recalling Susan’s offended exit. Winter passed, and Emily still hadn’t found a home.
Her father’s health worsened again, requiring expensive medications, and Emily used part of her savings, knowing her retired parents couldn’t afford them. She loved her dad and wanted him to recover.
Sometimes, she thought about delaying the apartment purchase. She was their only child, and they needed her help. Buying a place and moving would mean living between two homes, tough with her demanding, though beloved, job.
Maybe that’s why she rejected all of Sarah’s options. Some were perfectly suitable, but something always felt off. She felt bad for Sarah, who was trying hard to solve her housing issue.
«Maybe you just don’t want to live alone yet?» Sarah asked one day when Emily turned down another nice, affordable one-bedroom. «I don’t know,» Emily mused. «I’m good at my parents’, and they need my help.
Maybe you’re right. I’m scared of feeling lonely. I’ve never lived alone.
I went straight from my parents’ house to an apartment James rented when we married. Then we bought our place, living together, and it’s scary and unfamiliar to live alone.» «You could get a cat?» Sarah smiled.
«Then you wouldn’t be alone. Honestly, you don’t have to move into your apartment right away if you’re better off with your parents. You could buy one and rent it out, for instance.
I’d help with that. It’d be extra income, especially with your dad’s illness and medical costs. When you’re ready, you can move in.»
I hadn’t thought of that. I should consider it. Times are unstable, you know.
Prices are rising, everything’s getting expensive. I’m worried about a housing price spike, and you might not find anything decent. I’ve seen it in my work.
You can still buy something good with your budget now. Who knows what’ll happen later. Thanks, Sarah.
You’re probably right. I need to decide and buy something. My parents aren’t pushing me out, but having my own place is important.
Exactly. Sooner or later, you’ll want your cozy nest. Let’s do this.
I have a couple more good options. We can’t go today, but let’s look soon.» «Okay,» Emily agreed.
«Spring break starts next week, so I’ll have more time.» Back home, Emily told her mom about her talk with Sarah and her decision to pick a place soon and buy it. «But if you and Dad don’t mind, I’d like to stay with you for now.
I’ll rent out the apartment. Sarah will help find good tenants.» «Emily, how could we mind?» Nancy said.
«Your dad and I love having you. Stay as long as you want. You’re young.
You should be building your personal life.» «Oh, Mom,» Emily waved it off. «I’ve had enough of personal life.
James killed any desire to get involved with anyone again. I don’t even want to think about it.» «Don’t say that, sweetie.
If James wasn’t a decent man, that doesn’t mean all men are. Look at your dad and me. We love each other as much as we did forty years ago when we married.
Maybe more. True love grows over time, after the infatuation fades.
I’m sure you’ll meet a good man. Don’t give up on yourself. I’ve never asked, but I want to now. Can I? Of course, Mom. Did you and James ever think about adopting a child? I thought about it.
But when I brought it up with him, he flat-out refused. Said he’d accepted we wouldn’t have kids.
And he couldn’t love an adopted child. I never brought it up again. I comforted myself with my students.
I tried to give them all my unspent maternal love. And they love me back.
I know it’s different. A different kind of love. But it’s something.
Emily.» Nancy hugged her daughter. «I love you so much and want you to be happy.» «I am happy, Mom.
I have you and Dad and my job. Isn’t that enough for happiness?» «Oh, sweetie, you can fool me, but not yourself. Don’t you think I see your sad eyes?» Nancy stroked her daughter’s hair, thinking her maternal instincts hadn’t failed when Emily met James and rushed to marry him.
That cocky, handsome man didn’t sit right with her. Something about him gave her a bad feeling. She tried to convince Emily not to rush, so young.
Why the hurry? Finish school first, but her lovesick daughter wouldn’t listen. And her bad feeling proved right. He didn’t bring happiness to her daughter.
Because of him, she lost her chance to have children. And he left her for another after over fourteen years. Nancy also recalled an unpleasant incident with Susan.
When Emily barely survived the botched abortion and learned she’d never have kids, Susan came to Nancy for a serious talk, as she called it. «Nancy, I don’t think my son has a future with your daughter. We need to make sure they split up.»
«What do you mean no future? They’re married,» Nancy was shocked. «Why break them up? Why didn’t you say this before the wedding? Nancy, you know why. Your daughter chose to end her pregnancy and now will always be childless.
Why does my son need that burden? That suitcase without a handle.» «What are you saying, Susan?» Emily’s mom was outraged. «It was their joint decision.
Your son insisted on waiting for kids. You yourself told them to live a few years without children so James could focus on his career. Don’t call my daughter a burden.» «Don’t pin this on my son,» Susan snapped.
«The decision is always the woman’s.» «Did James drag her to the abortion?» «No, he just gave his opinion.» «But it happened, and now your daughter can’t give me grandkids or her husband children.
Why does James need such a wife? Why are you telling me this? Talk to your son.» «I did.» «But he won’t listen.»
«He says he loves Emily and will stay with her no matter what.» «Feels guilty.»
«Why come to me? Should I talk to your son?» «No. I want you to convince Emily to leave James. They won’t be happy, trust me.
James will soon tire of such a wife, and Emily won’t be happy with him.» «I didn’t expect this from you, Susan,» Nancy couldn’t believe her ears. «Where’s all this venom and cynicism?» At the wedding, she hugged Emily, saying she was thrilled to have another daughter.
And now she said such awful things, knowing she was hitting a mother’s most painful spot, who nearly lost her only child. Nancy wanted to end the conversation and show Susan the door.
So she said, «No, Susan, I won’t meddle in our kids’ lives. It’s their life, their family, and it’s not for us to decide what’s best. Stay out of it.»
Susan said something biting and left, slamming the door. Nancy broke down in tears. She felt so sorry for her daughter, who faced such a trial.
If only Nancy had known Emily was pregnant and planning to end it, she’d have done everything to stop it. But her daughter didn’t share, and Nancy learned too late. Since that day, relations between the mothers-in-law grew chilly, to say the least.
They still met when the kids invited them for birthdays or holidays. Susan acted as if that conversation never happened, smiling at Nancy, complimenting her, praising Emily’s cooking and tidy home.
Saying her son was lucky with his wife. Nancy had to endure this duplicity and keep up polite conversation. She never considered telling Emily about that talk.
And now, with the marriage over, she wouldn’t. Why cause her daughter more pain? Emily woke in a cold sweat and sat up in bed. She hadn’t had that dream in a while.
And now she dreamt again of walking alone down an empty street, hearing a child’s cries. She knew it was her child, needing her. She quickened her pace, almost running, as the cries grew louder.
Emily tried to find her child. She felt it was in danger but couldn’t locate it. She grew terrified.
She jolted awake. Why did this dream haunt her? What did it mean? Was it her unborn child crying? Was this nightmare her punishment for what she did? Could she atone to escape this terrifying dream? How she wished for answers to these tormenting questions. As usual, after this disturbing dream, Emily only fell back asleep near morning. The new day, filled with routine worries, seemed to erase the nightmare.
And Emily didn’t think of the dream again. Ethan drove from the cemetery, his heart heavy. Today marked three years since his beloved wife, Danielle, passed away.